June 13, 2014

WhatsApp Funny Jokes | WhatsApp Jokes

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WhatsApp Funny Jokes

Marvadi & Chinese in a train.
A cockroach enters.
Chinese catches it & eats it!
Another cockroach enters.
Marvadi catches & asks d chinese:
Kharidega?  :) 


Letter for our wives
My dear wife:
The FIFA World Cup is close by.
Let me give u a few rules that will preserve your beauty.
1. The remote control belongs to me for the whole month.
2. Tell all your friends not to gv birth or wed or die or wateva during the World Cup coz we won't go.
3.No talking during the game,
wait for half-time or end of the game.
4. Repeats & highlights are as good as the main match, so am gonna watch them..
5. We can watch STAR PLUS
provided actors and actresses are wearing soccer jerseys and they are in
6. U dont just pass infront of the tv if am watching soccer, u better crawl on the floor.
7. Make sure you don't ask silly questions such as; is this Chelsea versus England?
8. No funny faces to my friends when they come for soccer.
9. There shall be no comments about Cristiano Ronaldo's looks. Professinalism shall remain an absolute part of the WC.
10. If you miss the line up please dont ask, 'who is that guy?'
11. Ronaldo the Brazilian and Ronaldo the Portuguese are not related, Tanzania and Kenya did not qualify.
Thank you,


Alia Bhat gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 –18 year olds..
First day in school, she notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football..
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him..
‘ Are you ok?’ she asks.

‘Yes,’ he replies.
‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says.
‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says.
‘Why’s that, sweetie?’ asks Aalia Bhat
The boy looks at her incredulously and says: “Because I’m the Goal Keeper”


Bhagavad Gita
Why do we read Gita, even if we can't understand or remember ????
This is beautiful story - if inspired pls. forward else keep it cant say
when it might inspire you !
An old Farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson.
Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Bhagavat Gita. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.
One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavat Gita just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavat Gita do?"
The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied,
"Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."
The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.
The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.
At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.
The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!"
"So you think it is useless ?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."
The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.
"Son, that's what happens when you read the Bhagavat Gita. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Krishna in our lives."


How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM ?
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away

How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM ?
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on


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